


Cinderoxas

by Chriss_Meister



Category: Final Fantasy, Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Explicit Language, Homophobic Language, M/M, Original Character(s), Out of Character, Secret Crush, Slow Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-18
Updated: 2020-08-13
Packaged: 2021-02-28 06:15:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 11,646
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22789351
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chriss_Meister/pseuds/Chriss_Meister
Summary: In which pumpkins are popularity and glass slippers are love letters you never intended for your secret soul mate to read.
Relationships: Axel/Roxas (Kingdom Hearts)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 11





	1. Love Detonation

Roxas stared as the pale-blue thin envelope began to flutter its way to the floor. The floor and space in which he was sharing with a certain red-head that was _not_ supposed to be present during the delivery of said envelope, which contained a horror that Roxas never intended to unleash upon the world.

His feelings.

The only thought that could run through his mind as he stared wide-eyed at the other man who picked up the bomb that would destroy his life with one glance, was that he was going to _kill_ Hayner.

* * *

**3 Days Earlier: T-74 hours**

“Roxas!” I turn to see my best friend dashing down the school hall towards me.

In fear of being toppled, I take a few steps back reflexively. Hayner skids to a halt, immediately bending over to catch his breath.

“Hayner, what was the point of running to me if you weren’t going to be able to say anything once you finished?” I ask, holding my books tightly to my chest.

“Don’t…be…an asshole…” he gasps. I roll my eyes, but obligingly remain quiet until he’s finished recovering from his marathon. “Okay. Okay, you need to come with me _now_.”

“What? You ran all the way here just to drag me off? Why didn’t you text me to meet you there?”

“Once again. Just shut up and follow me!” He grabs my hand and we begin to run back in the direction he came. _How are we friends again?_

Eventually we reach the cafeteria. “But it’s not my-”

“Hush! No one will know as long as you don’t say anything,” Hayner says. He lets go of my arm so we can casually enter the cafeteria, despite it not being my lunch period yet.

Once inside, I immediately feel out of place. And not for the usual reasons. At least during my own lunch break, I see the same people that I've come to know and love (from a distance of course). That kid that always has burgers and fries for lunch. The group of blonde cheerleaders who sit near the dessert line to flirt. The emo kid couple who are always listening to music together while sharing a tuna salad sandwich. Me, the kid who's always sitting by himself in the corner table, always writing, seemingly oblivious to all the chaos of which school cafeterias are. The fact being, I _knew_ them, and became comfortable in their presence.

These are a group of students that I am not familiar with. A few I recognize from my classes, but others are just new faces in an environment which I do not feel _any_ type of comfort. Especially because I’m not supposed to be here, but in study hall.

“Hayner, why are we-”

“Roxas, if I have to hush you one more time, I swear I will tell everyone in this cafeteria that you were still wetting the bed in middle school.”

I shut my trap so quick I hear my teeth clang together. That isn’t even fair, Hayner had dared me during a sleepover to drink an entire 2 liter bottle of Pepsi (which isn’t even my favorite soda. I prefer Dr. Pepper) and I had a very awkward dream that I rather _not_ wanted to share with him when we woke up the next morning and I was cleaning my underwear in the sink. So I had to tell him _something_ , and the 2 liter Pepsi bottle was still on the bedroom floor. I regret telling him anything.

Ignoring the few eyes that leer our way, we finally come to a table with my two other friends at it.

“Hey guys,” I greet.

“Roxas, hey buddy,” Pence greets, smiling jovially. I expect the same from Olette, but she merely grabs my wrist and pulls me down into a seat.

“Hey! What’s the matter?” I exclaim. Hayner sits down too, swinging the chair backwards allowing his arms to cross over the backrest.

“Tell him Lettie,” Hayner prods.

“Roxas…I have some bad news,” she starts quietly. I wave my hand, gesturing for her to continue.

She seems to be trying to find the words to say whatever she’s trying to get out before Hayner blurts “Rox, you gotta confess to Axel.”

If I had been drinking water, this would be the perfect moment where I comically spit it out. But instead I just started choking on my spit, my usual reaction to being shocked or surprised.

“W-what the hell Hayner?! Someone could have heard you!” I hiss through my teeth.

“Yeah Hayner, what did I tell you about tact?” Olette chides.

“Well someone had to tell him!”

“Where is this coming from?” I ask.

“Okay, okay,” Olette starts. “There’s a viscous rumor going around that Larxene, you know Larxene.”

Queen of the bitch patrol. Empress of the popularity poll. A.K.A. Captain of the cheerleader squad. I hated her from the moment she spat her gum on the floor and I accidentally stepped in it.

“Roxas, there’s no need to glare, she’s not here,” Olette says soothingly.

“Yeah, and it’ll wrinkle your forehead,” Pence points out.

I ignore that, but do try to lighten up to a grimace.

“Anyway, people are saying that at the pep rally next week, she’s going to take Axel,” Olette finishes.

Take? How do you _take_ people? What does that even mean?

“What, is she going to confess or something?” Pence asks before I can.

“Well, as much as she can," Olette answers. "You see, Larxene doesn’t really do the whole, ‘confessing’ thing.” 

“Yeah, she’s more a, ‘makes people into her love slaves’ kind of slut,” Hayner says. I snort, and Olette looks at both of us disapprovingly. We high-five under the table.

“Larxene isn’t as bad as the rumor mill tells her to be,” Olette says. I don’t know why she’s defending her. Olette herself used to be part of the cheer squad until she started dating Hayner. They began treating her differently because Hayner isn’t a jock. Though she denies it, I know it was Larxene who had cut up her cheer outfit and left a disgusting note to Olette in the locker room that, inevitably, caused her to quit that retched team. I swear, I don’t know how someone as sweet as Olette was ever a part of that garden of poison. You could say I was more than glad she got out of there quick. I know Hayner was.

“I think we’re getting a little off topic here guys. What does any of this have to do with me?” I ask.

“Hello! She’s going to confess to your man!” Hayner shouts. I glare at him so icily I can see him recede a little bit into his seat.

“Really Hayner, scream it to the cafeteria why don’t you. I’m sure the lunch ladies are interested in my love life as well,” I say sarcastically.

“Even though Hayner really needs to speak quieter, this is serious Roxas. You need to tell Axel how you feel, before all this Larxene stuff goes down,” Olette says.

“You guys, I don’t-”

“And don’t even say you don’t like him ‘cause you do. You _know_ you do. You may not want to admit it to us, but don’t lie to yourself,” Hayner says in a low voice. Such an improvement.

“I’m not lying,” I lie.

“You write his name all over your journal,” Hayner says flatly.

There goes my spit-induced choke again.

“Before you get all pissy with me, I saw it over your shoulder during a lesson, which by the way, class time is for _learning_ , Roxas.”

“Like you’re one to talk. You sleep through class half the time.”

“At least I’m not writing about my secret lover in my dream journal.”

“It’s not a dream journal, idiot.”

“I’m not stupid, asshole.”

“You really want to do this?”

Hayner stands, pushing his chair away dramatically. “Yeah I do! Let’s go outside, bro! Let’s go!”

“You don’t want it Hayner.”

“Why? Cause you’re scared I’m gonna _kick your ass_?” he prods.

“That’s it bro. You’re dead meat.” I let my chair scrape back as I stand as well. “When I’m through with you, Olette won’t be able to recognize you.”

“Is that a threat? Or a promise?” he grins.

We stare each other down for a good five seconds before bursting into laughter.

“If you guys are done beating your chest, can we get back to the issue?” Olette sighs.

“Did she just compare us to apes?” Hayner asks.

“You maybe,” I mutter, and he punches me in the shoulder lightly. We grab our chairs and sit back down. “But really Olette, this doesn’t have to do with me. Yes, I will admit to my...slight infatuation with the head of the soccer team.” UNDERSTATEMENT OF THE FREAKIN YEAR. “But if he wants to date Bitchxene, then who am I to stop him?” My heart is hurting, but I blame it on that leftover Chinese I had this morning.

“Really? So you’ll be okay watching them do _that?_ ” Olette points to a couple nearby sucking face. “For the _rest of the year?_ ”

“Look, it doesn’t matter. We don’t even know if he’ll say yes. And if he does, how will me telling him how I feel change anything?”

“You won’t have to go on wondering, ‘what if’,” Pence speaks up.

“What do you mean?”

“'What if I had told him?’ ‘What if he knew and chose me over her?’ You’ll regret it, and won’t ever have a chance to say it to him.”

I think over Pence’s wisdom, and wonder if he’s right. Should I tell him? Even when he rejects me, I know I’ll feel better having said it. But what if it hurts too much? What if he laughs? What if he gets angry at me, calls me a fag?

“Roxas, Axel would never do _any_ of that,” Olette says. I didn’t even realize my thoughts were leaking out of my mouth.

“How do you know?” I ask, a little panicky.

“I know Axel. We’re friends. I mean, I use to hang out with him a lot more when I was on the squad, but we still talk from time to time. He helped me through the whole ‘cheer propaganda’ ordeal. He never shut me out, or made fun of me because of who I chose to love.” Hayner grabs her hand and gives it a squeeze. These guys. So lovey-dovey. “Anyway, Axel is a really good guy, and he would never intentionally hurt anybody. Even if he does reject you, yes, _if_ Roxas, he would take your feelings seriously, and be a gentleman. He always has.”

I pretend to mull this over to give Olette some kind of reassurance that I’m thinking about it. Because really I’m not. I feel bad, but there’s just _no_ way I’m confessing to Axel. What would that look like? Me, an outcast to everyone besides my three buds, who is always writing in his weird book, confessing to the most popular, nicest, gorgeous, coolest guy in school? Call me a coward, but I’m just not up for the humiliation.

“So are you going to tell him?” Pence asks.

“Don’t you see my thinking face?” I say.

“No. That’s your, ‘I’m pretending to think this over to make it look like I’m actually considering something I’d never do in a million years’ face.” Hayner smirks when I glare at him. When you grow up with people, they just know you way too well.

“Roxas.”

“Olette.”

“Roxas.”

“Pence.”

“ _Roxas._ ”

“Shut up Hayner.”

“Roxas!”

“Alright! Alright, okay? I’ll…think about it,” I sigh, defeated.

The three of them cheer as I wallow in my own pit of new found despair.

The bell rings and we all get up to go. Olette walks with me to our next class. There’s a commotion in the hallway, and we look to see what caused it.

Turns out it’s a _who_.

“Yo, Trenton! Ready for the game Monday?” yells a jock to the ace player of Twighlight High’s renowned soccer team.

“You know it Fowler! We’re gonna power through them!” Axel cheers, causing everyone to cheer as well. Whenever he's around, the whole atmosphere just seems to brighten. He could rally up any group of teens. I mean, he was so friendly and beautiful.

Before I can imagine myself standing in that crowd, cheering for him as well, a dark cloud descends to rain on the parade. Well, my parade anyway.

“Hey Axey. I know you’re going to do _so_ well in the game. Can’t wait for the pep-rally!” Bitchxene exclaims, making her way to the middle of the crowd where all the 'important' people are.

“Well, we gotta win the game first,” Axel laughs.

“Oh well that’s a given. Hallow Bastion doesn’t stand a chance. Isn’t that right fellas?” she says, winking to the rest of the mob who all agree and continue on to drool at Bitchxene’s cheerleader outfit-clad body. _God_ , I hate her.

“Come, let’s get to practice,” she exclaims. She moves over to Axel and hooks her arms around his powerful biceps before trailing off. The lump in my throat has now become the size of a small car.

“Are you sure you won’t regret it?” Olette says simply before we continue away from the crowd and its cheers.

Either way, if I tell him or don’t, I’d regret it.

* * *

**T-52 hours**

Before I can even get my locker open, Olette and Hayner are on me like the grand opening of a waffle store (which actually _did_ just open downtown). Knowing what they want, I ignore them and continue to put in my combination.

“So?” Hayner asks.

“So?” I respond.

“Did you think about it? What are you going to do?” Olette asks so sweetly, I don’t really want to lie to cover myself. Might as well tell the truth.

I sigh when I get my locker open, and answer her while putting stuff into it from my bag. “Well. I got home last night. I studied, did some homework. After that I thought about it. I thought about it while I was eating. While I was in the shower. When I went to sleep. _While_ I was sleeping. Even on the way to school this morning. And this…” I grab a sheet of paper that's stuck between the pages of my journal, “…is all I came up with.”

Hayner tries to snatch the paper away but Olette takes it quickly and opens it, Hayner looking over her shoulder to read it as well.

_Dear Axel_

_You probably don’t know me_

_And that’s okay_

_I just would really like_

_For you to listen to what I have to say_

_I’m not very strong_

_I’m not very tall_

_But all of these things you are_

_As you’re on the field, chasing the ball_

_We couldn’t be more different_

_Than cold and hot_

_Where you simmer and burn with energy_

_I do not_

_So even though we’re opposites_

_And this may come as a surprise_

_The truth is I’m in love with you_

_And that is no lie_

I hear Olette squeal and I already know which part she’s at.

_So now I must apologize_

_For this emotional mess_

_It’s hard for me to materialize_

_My feelings in 150 words or less_

Hayner snorts and I know which part _he’s_ at.

_I don’t expect an answer_

_I don’t want to hear your reply_

_I’m a coward, yes, I don’t deserve you, I know_

_So now I must say goodbye_

_Sincerely,_

“Your Secret Admirer Forever?” they question in unison.

“But Roxas, why?” Olette questions, reading it over again. “Why didn’t you sign it?”

“Dude, I love this '150 words' part. Is this a reference to Ms. Coleman's class?” Hayner asks. I nod, and he chuckles again. “This is gold. Seriously, you have a talent. Though it’s a little more basic than your regular stuff.”

“I didn’t want it to be complicated, and that’s how it kept coming out, because my feelings are complicated. So I summed up how I felt in one sentence, then wrote about that.”

“And which sentence was that?”

I point to the “I love you” line.

“Roxas, this is absolutely sweet! _And so cute_!” she squeals. I knew she would find it cute. She fully supports my illogical love with Axel for some reason or another.

“And it will stay nice and 'cute' forever, in my notebook.” I go to grab the paper back, but Olette pulls it out of reach.

“Roxas, you’ve got to give this to him.”

“What?!” I choke.

“Yeah Rox, I agree. He’d love it. And you’ve always been better at expressing yourself through your writing anyway, so this is perfect!”

“Uh-uh. No way. Not happening. Give it back, Olette.” She’s holding her hand above her head and I jump because she’s a couple inches taller than me. She passes it over to Hayner, which is such foul play, because he’s even taller. Practically the whole student body is. I curse my genetics for about the 574th time since I was born. “You guys, I’m serious.”

“Oh, come on Roxas! I really think you should give it to him!” Olette presses.

“I’m not, and that’s final!” I say. I refuse to be peer pressured into confessing my feelings.

She finally relents, and Hayner gives my letter back to her. “Okay. But here.” She goes into her bag and pulls out an envelope. I thought it was white but upon closer inspection is actually a light blue. “I’m going to put it in this nice envelope so it won’t get messed up. Just in case you change your mind.”

Trust me, Olette. I won’t. It was signed “Secret Admirer Forever” for a reason. So I’d remain anonymous. Forever.

“Thank you Olette. It will be nice and safe and sweet and cute right at the bottom of my locker,” I say as I place it there, slamming the door shut on it.

“Please, at least think about giving it to him,” Olette pleads as we all start off to our first period class. Unfortunately, neither of them are in mine, so we have to turn off at the corner.

“You already told me to think about this and I did.”

“This is something else!” she pants.

“Whoa, Lettie, take it easy,” Hayner tells her and she takes a few calming breaths.

“Why is this so important to you? It’s _my_ love-life,” I point out.

Olette sighs and turns her pretty green eyes on me. “Roxas, you’re one of my best friends, and I love you _so_ much. I just want you to be happy and live your happily ever after like I did.” I can see the genuineness in her face and it makes me tear up a bit on the inside.

Before I turn, I bring her in for a hug. “Thanks Lettie. You always have my best interest at heart. And I love you too.”

“So you’ll think about it?”

She just won’t give up.

“Sure,” I reply, to make her happy. And the smile creeping on her face says so.

“See you later Rox!” Hayner calls as we go our separate ways. My heart beat quickens the closer I get to the classroom. I’ve had distractions all morning, what with Olette and Hayner popping up at my locker so early. But now the nerves are back.

Axel is in my first period class.

I step in and see only a few early birds are already seated in the otherwise empty classroom. On my way to my seat in the far left back corner of the room, I pass the teacher’s desk, where she is reading over some papers.

“Good morning Roxas,” Ms. Coleman greets. She’s one of the few teachers who actually know who I am. Probably because I’m her best student. I’m just average in all my other classes, and tend to blend in with the crowd. Non-distinguishable.

“Good morning Ms. Coleman.” I head to my desk before the room fills up. Not even a minute later a flock of students rush in and go to their seats. Bobbing at the back of the group is a familiar red-head.

Nearly everyone greets him as he walks in. He nods to a few then sits right down, since his desk is right at the front door. The farthest away from mine.

He leans his head against the table and starts to snore, making a few girls giggle. He is always half-asleep in the morning. I doubt it even registered to him what class this is.

Once the bell rings, Ms. Coleman gets up, and starts her morning English and Writing III ritual. Everyone has to write an entry of how they are feeling in 150 words or less. I actually thought this was a great teaching method, because it’s basically like leaving your baggage at the door so you can concentrate on work. I definitely have some baggage I need to let go or all I’d be doing during class is staring at the back of Axel’s head and thinking about that letter in my locker. So I start writing.

_I brought a bomb to school_

I immediately cross that out, in case this gets in the hands of any school faculty. Ms. Coleman assured us that these would remain private, as long as we didn’t mention hurting ourselves. Did mentioning bringing a metaphorical weapon of mass destruction count?

_I brought my heart with me today_

_Carried with it the webs of desire_

_Of loneliness_

_Of longing_

_To be freed from the prison_

_In which I had shut it tightly_

_Away_

_But what will I do if it gets out?_

_Where will I hide_

_When my feelings can no longer_

_Be kept inside?_

_To keep it under wraps_

_Forever entangled_

_In my own cowardice_

_I shoved it in the bottom of my locker_

_Where it will forever stay_

_And ever_

I lay my pen down and reread what I wrote. The end doesn't seem to fit with the rest. But my mind is apparently still set in basic mode. I really need to turn that off before it does something stupid.

“Mr. Trenton. Are you going to be joining us today?” Ms. Coleman chides as she whacks Axel’s head lightly with a copy of _Othello._ He grunts and lifts his head.

“Good morning,” he says and half the class laughs.

“This is a class for creative work and historical reading, Axel. Not sleep.”

He runs a hand through that gorgeous red mane of hair and sits up straighter. “Got it Ms. Coleman.”

“And what have you written for your morning entry?”

“Ah…I’m more of an, improv kind of guy,” he says, trying to excuse himself.

“Then please, do tell me what you can come up with on the spot,” she challenges in good-nature.

Axel’s quiet for a few seconds but then gets up, grabbing everyone’s attention, if he didn’t already have it. “Roses are great. Violets are too. I’m sleepy as hell, and I can’t sleep well. Cause my desk is askew.” His makes his point by tipping his desk on its uneven legs. Everyone either laughs or claps as Axel bows dramatically. I smile secretly to myself, but cover it with my sweater sleeve before anyone sees. Not that anyone ever really looks back here. But if the person on my right were to suddenly turn this way, I’d rather them not see me grinning like an idiot.

“Very good, Mr. Trenton. You may sit,” she says with a smile. That’s what I really love about Ms. Coleman, she never puts down anyone’s work, and lets you know if it’s exceptional.

The end of class comes all too soon, and I pack slowly so I can sneak as many glances at Axel as I can before he walks out. Once again, another day has gone by, and he hasn’t noticed me.

_You probably don’t know me_

_And that’s okay_

And it _is_ okay. The only reason why I have a class with him at all, despite the fact that he’s a junior and I’m a sophomore, is because I tested into the higher level English class. But these 45 minutes of bliss just didn’t seem to stretch on long enough. Before I can make it out, Ms. Coleman stops me.

“Yes?” I ask politely.

She shows me my writing assignment that was handed in last week, with no grade on top. She gave them back during class today, but I noticed she never returned mine. “Is something wrong with it? Did I not do the assignment correctly?”

“That’s not it at all, Roxas. I didn't put a grade, because it is far beyond the assignment.”

So I did do it wrong?

“An ‘A+’ would not reflect what this truly deserves. You have a gift, Roxas.” She hands me the short personal piece I wrote and shows a sweet smile which I return.

“Thank you Ms. Coleman. Have a nice day!” Instead of replacing the paper in my English notebook, I fold it up and put it in my journal. It is too good to be confined within all of my English notes.

I only make it about five steps down the hall before I almost collide with someone.

“S-sorry,” I apologize.

“No, totally my fault bro.” That smooth melodious voice. That husky scent. “You alright?”

I look up and see him. Axel Trenton. Come on Roxas. Say something ingenious!

“…” Or say nothing. Because _that_ works too.

“Haha, scared you speechless huh?” he jokes, not knowing the absolute truth behind that.

“Haha…yeah…sorta,” I mumble.

“Well, anyway, I’m kinda on a run, but I’ll see you around!” he says, before continuing down the hall. I carry those three words with me until I’m seated in my next class. _See you around._ He told me he’d see me around! Though I’m sure to him it was the usual goodbye, but to me, it meant more than anything. He acknowledged my existence. It was nice enough that he apologized as well for our almost collision, but he also didn’t point out my awkward conversation skills. He made it so easy. Maybe…maybe I _should_ give him the letter.

* * *

**T-1 hour**

**Olette: So. It’s been two days. Have you decided?**

**Roxas: Decided what? And neither of us should really be texting during class…**

**Hayner: Hey, wat i miss?**

**Roxas: English and spell-check?**

**Hayner: Shut up, buttmunch**

**Olette: Don’t change the subject! What are you going to do?**

**Hayner: Oh, r u talkin bout that awesome letter Rox wrote?**

**Olette: Haynes, please, be quiet for a minute**

**Roxas: Ouch**

**Hayner: ouch**

**Olette: You guys!**

**Roxas: Okay, okay. I’ve decided…to not give it to him**

**Hayner: *groan* y?**

**Roxas: Because I’ve analyzed this from every angle, and there is no way any good will come of this**

**Olette: What about your feelings? What about the good of love?!**

**Hayner: Dude, u think about these things 2 much. Stop thinkin n just do.**

I don’t bother to answer and shove my phone back in my pocket. They are being ridiculous and too attached to the fantasy of me and Axel. I thought _I_ had fantasies, but none like these two. I can understand, since they're all lovey-dovey all the time, but they can’t expect everyone to get their happily ever after. That just isn’t in my future. I did the math.

Class runs late today, and I'm glad. This way, Hayner nor Olette will be waiting at my locker to interrogate me before they run off to their lunch period. Taking my time, I stroll down the deserted hallways to my locker. Languidly, I push and shove some books in and out. I am in no rush to get to study hall, and there is no teacher taking attendance. As long as you write your name on the sign-in sheet, you get credit. It's bliss.

Removing a book from the bottom, I see the corner of the blue envelope. Sliding it out slowly, I stare at it. This could be it. This could change my life forever. For better or for worse. _Probably worse._

I think about what Hayner said. How I think too much. Maybe he's right. Maybe I do need to stop over-analyzing situations and just take action. Slamming the door shut, I take out my pigment liner that I use for calligraphy on special occasion. Carefully, I paint out ‘Axel’ on the front of the envelope. I don’t write his last name, or anything else. Just ‘Axel’. Before I can stop myself, my feet are already pounding down the halls towards the junior wing, and I stop once I get to his locker. It took a bribe and slight stalking to find out which number was his. Now I make it a point to always walk through this hall on the way to class. If I’m lucky, he’ll be there chatting with friends, and if I’m super lucky, he’ll be there alone.

The halls are still empty as I stand suspiciously at his locker. _What am I doing? I’m not seriously about to do this. This is_ so _high school. This is high school. Oh god, what am I doing? There’s no way I can do this! What if he figures out it’s me? Or worse, what if he_ never _figures out it’s me? This was a bad idea. That’s it. I’m going to study hall, and shoving this back away like the rest of my feelings. So what if I’ll regret it…don’t think, just do. Don’t think, just do. Don’t think-_

“Hey, whatcha doing at my locker?”

My heart nearly stops and I wonder _is this what it feels like to have a heart attack?_ I lose all feeling in my body, and am afraid I’ll fall to the floor, but something even worse happens. My grip slips on the thin envelope, and it cascades down slowly, right by Axel. Who picks it up. And reads the front.

“Is this for me?”

Aloud.

My life is over.

Hayner is a _dead man._


	2. Codename 311

_Don’t think, just do, don’t think just do don’tthinkjustdodon’tthinkjust-_

“That’s not mine!”

Axel flinches at my sudden shout, bringing him away from opening the envelope any further.

“What?” he asks confused.

 _Okay. You got this Roxas._ “That’s uh…for you.” _Dear lord,_ _you so don’t got this._

“Yeah, I presumed that from my name being on it,” he chuckles, making me blush. But really, when do I ever not blush at something Axel does? He proceeds back to opening the envelope. _Oh no_.

“My friend asked me to deliver it,” I blurt out. He looks up at me once again.

“Your friend?”

“Yeah. Um…my friend’s… _extremely_ shy. And was too embarrassed to deliver it in person. So…I was going to slip it in your locker as a favor.” _Sound argument Roxas. You so totally got this._

“Hmm,” he speculates. Does he buy it? Please do. I really don’t want to attempt to come up with another excuse. And then he’ll figure out I was lying.

“They didn’t have to be afraid. I wouldn’t have bit they’re head off or anything,” he jokes. He seals the envelope back closed. Good, he’s not going to read it now while the unknown writer (a.k.a me) is in the vicinity.

“I know that…my friend though, haha. So good at hiding,” I try to laugh, but it comes out sounding wheezy. Axel must officially think I’m a freaking space case.

“Well, thanks then…” He motions his hand toward me. What does he want? For me to leave? Or worse, more information about this ambiguous person who wrote him this letter??

“Your name?”

Oh. Right.

“Roxas Strife,” I state plainly.

He nods but soon his eyes widen. “You wouldn’t happen to be affiliated with-”

“Cloud Strife, ex-ace player for the Twighlight Wolves,” I finish for him. It’s what everyone asks. I stopped giving my last name once Cloud won his first (soon to be many) game. That was back when I was still in middle school. I don’t know why it flowed so quickly out of my mouth just now without a second thought. “Yes.”

“That’s cool. I look up to him a lot. Kinda big shoes to fill after he graduated,” Axel says. _And here we go._ The bombardment of questions. The sudden interest in me because of my familial relation to Twighlight High’s most popular alumni.

“Well, thanks again for this. Tell your friend that she can come up to me next time,” he says smiling. He goes to put the wretched thing away in his bag. _But wait…what?_

“That’s it?” I whisper.

“Hm?”

I shake my head. I can’t believe that TH’s soccer ace isn’t digging me for more details. About Cloud or even about the letter.

If I thought my love for this man couldn’t grow anymore, well, I’m obviously the biggest dumbass of the century.

I wait there awkwardly while he goes into his locker to put some stuff away. After locking it back up, he says bye and waves me off all cool again. Not wanting him to go, I frantically call after him.

“What’s up?” he asks over his shoulder, his red locks swishing to the side. _Why is he so hot? It distracts me from making coherent thoughts._

“Um…I never said…my friend was a girl…” I nearly whisper.

He looks at me, and I fear what will happen next. I know it's a gamble, but I just need to know if I'm going to get my heart broken for sure or not. Olette told me Axel doesn’t have a sexual preference, planting that stupid little emotion inside of my heart. The reason why I can't ever really give up on him even though I know it will never ever happen. _Hope._

“So it’s a guy?”

I can’t read his tone or his expression. _He’s making this very difficult._ “I…never said that…either?”

After a few seconds, Axel laughs, a deep tremble that echoes throughout the empty hall.

“You are one mysterious dude Roxas!” He’s got a wide smile on his face as he turns to walk back off. After he’s out of sight, I fall back against lockers and slide to the floor. _What just happened…that was too real to be true. Is it? Maybe I’m dreaming?_ I have to hold my hand back from pinching myself like an idiot. This is most definitely real. I am most definitely awake.

And Axel will most definitely read that poem I wrote him.

But…he doesn’t know it’s from me…

And…he knows who I am now. I was a little hurt at first, seeing as how we’ve had class together all year, but it’s understandable. We sit on opposite sides of the room, and I’m not very noticeable, my short height not helping at _all_.

I gather my feelings together, and decide that I’ve done good. I feel really accomplished, and Axel knows who I am now. I’m not marked late for study-hall even though half the period is over, and I talked with Axel for the second time in my life. I find my favorite spot in the library empty, and Axel called me a _mysterious dude_. Heh. Heeheehee.

My phone interrupts my uncontrollable giggles, and I casually take it out. No one ever comes to this part of the library, it’s hidden away from everything else. There’s a hidden door that leads to a room of supplies, where I found a beanbag chair stuffed at the bottom a long time ago. Leaning back into the beanie, I scroll to my new texts.

**Olette: !!!**

**Roxas: ?**

**Hayner: duuuuuuuude**

**Roxas: ???**

**Pence: What did you do?**

**Roxas: ?????? what?!**

**Hayner: ur secret lover came in smilin like a kid who got the last pudding cup**

**Roxas: …what?**

**Olette: Omgomgomgomg, did you do it????**

**Roxas: Okay, someone who makes sense please text me what’s going on. That means not a squealer or an English impaired buffoon**

**Pence: Axel walked into the cafeteria really happy.**

**And not like, his usual polite-to-everyone happy.**

**We overheard him say something good happened just now.**

**Roxas: …**

**Hayner: hey, buttmunch! U there?**

**Olette: Omg, Roxas, did you give him the letter???**

**Roxas: …**

**Olette: ?**

**Roxas: AXEL HAS THE SAME LUNCH PERIOD AS YOU GUYS?**

**Pence: Yeah**

**Hayner: how did u not kno dis?**

**Roxas: Maybe it’s because I’VE NEVER SEEN HIM IN THE CAFETERIA WHEN YOU’VE DRAGGED ME IN THERE. OR YOU GUYS NEVER TOLD ME HOW COULD YOU NOT TELL ME?!!!**

**Olette: Oh Rox, we thought you knew?**

**Roxas: NO I DIDN’T!!!**

**Hayner: well dont get ur boxers twisted. so? wats the dillio w/ the pyro-head?**

**Roxas: Please don’t call him that.**

**Hayner: but wat if his name is traced? we gotta use a codename. we used 2 do this all the time**

**Roxas: Yeah, when we were four.**

**Olette: Hayner’s right. We can’t use our names. You never know what could get into other people’s hands…**

I pause for a moment to take a breather. I know what Olette means. When she found that horrible letter in her locker, she threw it away, but it somehow got into the hands of the general student public, so a lot of people know the real reason why Olette quit. Because of the bullying.

**Roxas: You’re right. No names. We won’t ever let something like that happen again.**

**Hayner: kay, evry1 go back n delete evry txt in this group chat w/ our names in it.** **Axl’s 2.**

Following orders, I go and delete the few messages that revealed our true identities as well as Axel’s.

**Roxas: Okay, so what are we going as then?**

**Hayner: I wanna b the bookie!**

**Roxas: Why?**

**Hayner: don’t ask y, I just do!**

**Roxas: Okay Mr. Bookie. Haha, that makes it sound like you’re an intellectual, and god knows you haven’t picked up a book in the past century.**

**Hayner: y dont u go as buttmunch? i call u that half da time anyway**

**Roxas: Ha.**

**Olette: I would like to go as cupid, because if not for my support, we would not be where we are now~**

**Roxas: Total chaos?**

**Olette: In progress!**

**Hayner: so, is buttmunch off the table for him?**

**Pence: Can I go as Sherlock? I’m really into that show right now.**

**Hayner: kay, so we got sherlock, cupid and the bookie. wacha wanna b man? decide now or forever go by buttmunch**

**Roxas: Writer311**

**Olette: Aaawww~**

**Hayner: wth is that suppose 2 mean?**

**Pence: Well, writing is who he is, and 311 is the curriculum number for the English class he has with…what are we calling him? Maybe Guns n’ Roses.**

**Olette: Loverboy!**

**Hayner: pyro-head**

**Roxas: Denied. Denied. And denied.**

**Hayner: so wacha got writer311?**

**Roxas: …Flurry of Dancing Flames.**

**Hayner: looooong and laaaaaaame**

**Roxas: Okay okay! How about Eights?**

**Pence: Sounds like ‘ace’.**

**Roxas: Exactly.**

**Olette: And his jersey number is ‘8’ on the team! That’s brilliant!**

**Hayner: knew u had it in u bro~**

**Roxas: That’s Writer311 to you, Mr. Bookie.**

**Hayner: …r we all sure that buttmunch isnt better? U kno, 4 saftey reasons?**

We text some more until the bell rings. I pack up my stuff and quickly make my way out of the library. With codenames in place, I can really feel the adrenaline pumping through me. It feels like I’m on one of the old missions Hayner and I used to pretend to go on until he got interested in girls. This whole situation is bringing up memories from the past, all good and bad. I just don’t know what this means for the future.


	3. Scrimmage of Feelings

Why am I here? I shouldn’t be here. I’ve never been here in all of my life, and yet here I am, sitting in the nosebleeds of the bleachers with Olette, watching a scrimmage for the soccer team.

“Isn’t this great?” Olette sighs happily. She hasn’t been going to any of the games or practices, even though she didn’t think twice about it before. I would feel bad for dragging her here, but that isn’t what happened. _She’s_ the one who dragged _me_ here, surprisingly. Kicking and screaming, unsurprisingly. I don’t much see the point of this, but Olette was adamant about coming. I told the gang about my hallway discrepancy with Axel during lunch/study hall, and how he accidentally got a hold of the ticking time bomb. Olette thinks this is part of the “progress” she mentioned before. And coming to this game was helping with said “progress”.

“Olette, do you seriously think we’re going to accomplish anything by coming to this game? He doesn’t even know who I am.” Which is a lie.

“That’s a lie! Didn’t you say you introduced yourselves in the hallway earlier?” she argues, in which I have no rebuttal since it's the truth.

“Yeah, but that doesn’t make us friends.”

“It doesn’t make you strangers either.”

Damn her and her logic.

“Look, can we just go? Being around these people will make me break out in hives,” I say, without caring how rude it sounds.

“They’re not germs, Roxas. A lot of them are actually really nice,” she reprimands.

Suddenly, a crazy amount of screaming erupts from the crowd. I look at the scoreboard and see that we are now tied.

“Look Rox, we caught up! The Twighlight Wolves are going to win!” she cheers loudly with everyone else. I calmly stay seated but keep my eyes glued to the game that's nearly over. It's actually pretty interesting to watch, besides the fact that I am used to seeing games from when my brother did soccer.

Between the bodies of people in my line of vision, I can make out the red of the ace’s hair. He is currently talking to one of his teammates in high spirits. _Gosh he's hot when he's excited._

Okay, that sounded really creepy and really wrong. And Olette wonders why I don’t stand a chance?

Speaking of creepy and wrong, the shrill voice of the captain of the Twighlight cheer team can be heard rooting through the field. In her crew-cut white and blue top and miniskirt, I was all but done with her cheering before she even started.

I glance over to see Olette staring not at the game, but at the cheerleaders for a few seconds before she refocuses. I can tell she misses cheering, and it kills me that it’s making her miserable. I wish there were something I could do.

“Axel’s got the ball!”

My attention is riveted, and I see that Axel does indeed have the ball. He passes it to a teammate then runs forward full speed. Not even a few seconds later the ball is flying towards him and he jumps for it, kicking it straight into the goal from midair.

The crowd goes flipping nuts. I go flipping nuts.

“YEAH!” I yell jumping out, but I’m drowned out within the crowd. The Twighlight’s gather and bro hug. The cheerleaders run onto the field. Everyone knew the Wolves would beat the Bears, even if this _is_ just a scrimmage. But that doesn’t mean we aren’t excited.

Most people have left the bleachers by now, but I quietly sit back down, content, before Olette asks if I want to go see the team. “Why would I want to do something like that?”

“Um, maybe because you’re secret lover is on the team?” she says obviously.

“H-he’s not my secret l-lo-l!” I blanch. She just rolls her eyes and drags me down the steps. Seriously, if she was going to drag me anyway, then why did she even ask? “Olette, I’m serious, I-I can’t do this! There are too many people here! I’m not ready to see him! What if he doesn’t remember me? Worse, what if he doesn’t care? Oh god, I think I’m going to throw-up!”

“Quit your panicking! You pretend Axel is going to kill you!”

Going into cardiac arrest _would_ kill me.

“Do you trust me?”

“Huh?”

“I asked if you trust me.”

“Of course I do Lettie, you know that,” I answer honestly.

“Then trust me now when I say that everything will be fine and Axel is not a bad person. Neither are the people he's close to.” She winks as we step onto the grass and trot over to the crowd.

“Demyx!” Olette screams when she gets to the edge of the crowd. From somewhere in the middle, a brown head of hair perks up and squeezes his way towards us through the mass of fans. Ignoring a lot of the screaming and passing on engaging in conversations, he finally appears before us. He’s tall and has a mullet haircut. He’s clad in the soccer uniform covered in dirt and grass stains.

“Olette! Long time no see girlie!” he greets jovially.

“Hey Demyx, and same,” she responds, hugging him briefly. After letting go, she points to me, making me immediately start sweating. “This is one of my good friends, Roxas.”

“Nice to meet you Roxas, I’m Demyx,” he introduces.

“Uh, yeahnicetomeetyou,” I say quickly and quietly.

“What? I didn’t quite catch all of that,” he responds. It took enough of my energy just to say _that_ , he wanted me to do it again?

“Sorry, he’s a bit shy,” Olette explains.

“No prob. I use to be the same, before I met him,” Demyx says. Who is he talking about? “Ah, speak of the devil. Guns n Roses!”

My head quickly swivels to see Axel approaching us. The closer he gets, the more my heart wants to pop right through my chest.

“Nocturne! Dude, where’d you disappear to? I was trying to congratulate you on a great game,” Axel says.

“Meeting up with an old friend. And meeting a new one,” he answers.

Axel raises an eyebrow, but looks around Demyx to see me and Olette standing there.

“Oh wow! Olette, haven’t seen you in the longest! How are you doing?” He engulfs her in his arms for a bit longer than Demyx had, and she hugs back.

“Not too bad. I’ve been happy,” she answers.

“That’s good.” They smile at each other, and the friendliness is obvious, but I’m still human, okay? Yes, I’m jealous.

“Hey, Roxas! Good to see you again!”

And like that, it’s gone.

“Oh…mm…yeah, you too…” I try to say as clearly as possible, but even to my ears it sounds like a mumble. I also have this really bad habit of pulling my bangs in front of my eyes when I’m nervous.

“He’s a shy kid, Axel,” Demyx points out, to my absolute torture.

“I know him you goof,” Axel chuckles, playfully shoving Demyx. “And I wouldn’t say he’s shy. The last time I met him, he yelled at me.”

“What?!” we all yell in unison, and look among each other confused.

“You yelled at him Roxas?” Olette asks shocked.

“No I did not!” I yell.

“Yup, just like that,” Axel laughs, making me blush a deeper red than I already was. “He yelled ‘that’s not mine’, then proceeded to talk to me in a normal voice. So I don’t believe you when you say he’s shy.”

“Wait, what wasn’t his?” Demyx asks. My eyes widen and I fear I might _actually_ go into cardiac arrest.

“Don’t worry about it, Demy,” Axel says waving it off. “I do remember _you_ were once a shy goofball. Now you’re just a goofball,” he laughs, causing Demyx to protest. They clown around while I sigh a breath of relief. It's bad enough that all my friends know about my stupid crush, and even worse that _Axel_ knows. Indirectly. So I don’t need nor want another soul to know.

Axel catches me staring at him and puts a finger to his lips and winks. It's like he's trying to cause me never-ending heart palpitations. I do appreciate the gesture though. He isn’t going to tell anyone.

_I love you._

What?

WHAT?!

Did I...just admit I love him? I mean, I wrote I was _in_ love with him in my letter, but the thought of _loving_ him…

…is way too much stimulation for me to even be thinking about right now.

“Hey, me and a few of the others are going down to Willy’s Waffles in a few. You guys should come,” Axel suggest. I am ready to shake my head profusely and speed-walk away, but Olette has decided to answer for both of us before I even have the chance to decline.

“We’re in!”


	4. Willy's Waffles

I actually haven’t been inside the newly opened Waffle shop… It’s very crowded, as expected, and I’m not comfortable with the decision to enter this establishment filled to the brim with customers.

“Olette, tell me again why this was a good idea?” I whisper harshly into her ear.

“Because now you get to hang out with Axel outside of school! Isn’t that exciting?” she squeals.

I roll my eyes at her delusion of me being any form of “excited”. All this is doing is raising my stress levels.

Olette looks over, and notices my “I’m about to throw-up from nerves” expression. “Calm down Roxas. It will be okay. It’s just a-”

“Don’t say date!” I nearly scream.

“- _not_ a date. Definitely _not a date_ ,” she reassures. “It’s just friends having a good time together. And eating waffles.” She smiles until I smile back.

“You guys ready to get your munch on?” Axel cheers. Everyone responds enthusiastically, while I offer a quiet “woo”.

We find a long table in the back where we can all sit down together. I’m sitting next to Olette on the end, just in case I need to make a daring escape. Maybe not daring. Discrete. A discrete escape.

“Don’t you even _dare_ think about leaving this waffle shop Roxas Destiny Strife,” Olette threatens.

“Would you hush!” I ssh her. I hate my middle name, ever since my dad told me what it was. “I’m not going anywhere, whether I like it or not.”

It’s true. I’ve noticed the whole time we’ve been here that Demyx has not stopped looking over at me, whether it be to smile, wave, or shout something across the table. If he’s going to disrupt the entire table, he might as well just come sit over here.

Just as I’m thinking this, Demyx has already gathered his things, and his heading down the crowded shop to my end of the table. _Wait, no, why is he coming over here?_

“Hey party people! What’s goin’ on in this neck of the woods?” he greets, reaching us.

“Nothing much Dem. Deciding what to order, mostly,” Olette says smoothly. _How does she do it?_

“Ooh, ooh! Get the Choco-Choco-Banana Walnut Waffles!” Demyx cheers loudly. I think he talks about three frequencies louder than most people.

Before I even have a chance to respond, my constant heartthrob with legs, Axel, waltzes over to join in. “What did I tell you about ordering _for_ people instead of suggesting things?”

Demyx is quiet for a second before he lights up again. “Oh! You _should_ get the Choco-Choco-Banana Walnut Waffles,” he corrects.

“Very good.” Axel pats him on the head.

“The heck dude, I’m not your dog!” Demyx laughs, slapping his hand away, and slipping him into a head lock.

“Now boys, no fighting in the store. You’re causing a public disturbance,” Olette chastises lightly. Even she can’t take it seriously, already breaking into a fit of giggles.

They settle down after a moment, grabbing two chairs from a nearby table to pull up next to us. Everyone else is already ordering while I’ve still got my nose stuck in the menu. I growl sharply when Olette kicks me under the table. I send a quick glare her way as she mouths “talk to him” at me behind the cover of her hand. I roll my eyes and continue to scan the menu until she kicks me again, pointedly looking back and forth between me and him.

I glance over the top of my menu to see Axel leaning back in his chair, laughing at probably something Demyx just said. Ugh, why does he have to have such a nice laugh when he has such a nice everything else? And why does my ability to speak the English language escape me every time I’m within a yard’s distance from him?

“Um…” I start with. Olette subtly encourages me to continue. “Do…do you recommend anything?” I manage to say. I wasn’t really looking him in the eyes when I said it, so I hope he infers that I am speaking to him.

Axel looks at me and smiles. “You can get what I normally order.”

“And what’s that?” Olette asks, realizing that I won’t be able to carry on anymore legible conversation with him at the moment.

“Cinnamon pecan waffles with brown sugar and honey-maple syrup, nothin’ else,” he says gladly. Wow, that’s a lot going on there. “You’d think there’s a lot going on there, but it’s actually pretty rad, all those flavors together. My grandma used to make that exact waffle for me back when she lived here in the city. But now that she’s living in the countryside, Willy’s Waffles is the closest I can get anymore. But there’s nothing like homemade.”

“You must love your grandmother a lot,” I say, before I even realize I’d spoken.

“Uh…yeah. I guess I do,” he says, laughing to himself slightly. His eyes meet mine, and I can’t possibly look away.

“So…um…what did she move to the country for?” I ask politely, hoping I’m not intruding too much in his personal business.

“She actually grew up and lived there most of her life. It wasn’t until she married that she moved into the city. But after living here for over 30 years, she had gotten sick of city life, and moved back to her old home,” he explains to me. “She was the best really. She had, like, all of these old figurines that she brought with her all the way from the country. They were of dancers in all types of different positions. Like the waltz, and-”

“Can I take your guys order?” We all look up to see the waitress waiting with a notepad and a smile.

“Sorry, I was kinda droning on there,” Axel apologizes to us.

“Don’t apologize for that!” I say quickly. They all stare at me for suddenly raising my voice (which isn’t very loud for me), causing my face to heat up. “I mean…uh…it’s someone who’s important to you so…you shouldn’t feel bad…about talking about her…so much.” _And_ my voice along with my courage has been lost.

Apparently, that was enough to appease him because he smiles. And not just any smile. One that I haven’t really seen before. Not when he’s with his friends, his team, or in school. This smile…is something amazing and wonderful that I never want to stop seeing.

“Roxas…” It is just my name. Just hearing my name from the one that I absolutely love can put butterflies in my stomach.

“Are y’all ready to order?” asks the waiter again, also mesmerized for a moment by Axel’s smile.

Axel shakes his head, seemingly coming out of a trance, and turns to the waiter and smiles. But this one is not like before. It is the one I usually see. Politeness plastered to his face. It makes me cringe just thinking of him forcing himself day after day. Assuming that that’s what it is. What do I know about Axel anyway?

And it’s this thought that really makes me wonder. What do I even like about Axel, considering the fact that I barely know him? Is it his looks? His unknown personality? The way he can get along with anybody? The fact that he even gives me the time of day to talk let alone hang out with him? The hidden parts of his personality that he doesn’t show to anyone? His genuine smile?

I feel like that turned into a list of things that I _do_ like about him. What was I even trying to gather from these thoughts? What was I talking about? Wait, what were we talking about?

“Roxas?” I hear Olette say to me gently. “You still with me?” I snap back to attention.

“Yeah?!” I squeak. It sounds like I am questioning myself.

“You alright Rox?” Demyx asks.

I start to panic on how to explain that I just spent the last god knows how long thinking about Axel.

“Sometimes he goes into his head to think about things. It’s pretty normal for him, actually.”

Olette, you are my angel.

“That’s pretty deep,” Demyx responds happily.

“For you, it would be, seeing as how you never have much going on in there,” Axel jokes, and they start bantering again. I sigh, glad the awkwardness is gone. I discretely thank Olette in sign, which she returns with a thumbs-up from behind her menu.

Soon our waitress is back, placing plates in front of each of us. Olette ended up getting blueberry waffles with strawberries scattered around it. As she is pouring on the syrup, I smirk at her, and she blushes. I knew she got the blueberry waffles because those are Hayner’s favorite, and strawberries are hers.

For lack of decisiveness, I got the same order as Axel, who doesn’t seem to mind. The waitress places my plate in front of me in a rush. I watch her walk over to give Axel his order, leaning over and _definitely_ flirting. I suddenly feel very territorial, but realize there is no reason to. Axel isn’t mine. And, unfortunately, never would be.

Well this non-date just took a turn for the downer.

I pick around at my food, not really consuming any of it, just watching Axel interact with the others at the table. Listening to their conversations, they weren’t all bad guys. Some of them were jerks, but it seemed like I could very much get to know and even like some of these people.

If I wasn’t, so to speak, a little chicken shit.

But I am and I feel uncomfortable around people. I have issues that I have to take care of, I know, but it’s hard for me to really just sit down and deal with the problem when I don’t have any time to actually do that. Between school, my family, my friends, and the new arisen problem of recollecting you-know-what, it was a challenge to even work up the nerve to get up in the mornings…my life is pathetic.

I suddenly feel a hand touch my shoulder, and look over to see Olette giving me a concerned look.

“You okay?” she asks.

I nod.

“You sure?” she questions.

I nod again.

“You’re doing that thing again,” she points out.

I know exactly what thing she’s talking about. Sometimes I retreat to dark recesses in my mind. Start to think self-loathing thoughts, start to feel worthless. It’s subtle, but if you know me well or look real close, you can tell when I’m going into one of these moods. I shake my head to clear away the clouds shrouding my mind. I don’t want Olette to worry. “I’m okay,” I say in a small voice.

She nods, rubbing my back for a sec before going back to her waffles.

“Dude! What do you think of the waffles?” Demyx cheers suddenly making me jump.

Looking down at my plate, I see I haven’t done much other than push around the tiny cut pieces. “Um…” My face starts to heat up from embarrassment, and I don’t know what to tell him.

“You should have gotten the Choco-Choco man, it would have been _way_ better than whatever the hell Axel orders. Axel! Roxas says he doesn’t like the crap you ordered him!”

Demyx is both a blessing and a curse. On the one hand, he doesn’t know the meaning of awkward, but on the other hand, he doesn’t know the meaning of _tact._

I start to stutter something horrid, before Axel interrupts.

“Dude, how do you know? He hasn’t even taken a bite yet.”

Oh no, he’s noticed that I haven’t started eating yet, oh no oh no oh no-

“He’s prepping himself for the explosion of flavor he’s about to experience,” Axel says happily.

And once again, I have found another reason to love this mysterious man.

If not for the delicious taste of these cinnamon pecan waffles with brown sugar and honey-maple syrup, with nothin’ else.


	5. Chapter 5

“You’ve got to give me the deets man!” Hayner shouts. This time, instead of cutting my study hall (which really, what is the point of cutting a free period?) Pence, Hayner, and Olette come to the library after quickly scarfing down their lunch in the cafeteria.

“The ‘deets’? You sound like Olette. I think you’ve been hanging out with her too much,” I joke, having already staked my claim on the lone beanbag chair.

“Uh, duh, she’s my bae. Of course I hang out with her all the time.” I glance over to see Olette’s cheeks tint a cute shade of pink. Lovey-dovey luckies.

“But really, you gotta tell us what went down,” Pence agrees eagerly. I look at their anticipating faces and sigh.

“Why don’t _you_ recap my horrendous social interaction,” I say to Olette. She usually gets huffy when I avoid conversation like this, but I think she‘s too excited about sharing to care.

“It was not horrendous. You guys! It was amazing! I mean, the scrimmage itself was just phenomenal, but then me and the Roxster here went out with the team afterwards to Willy’s Waffles-”

“Oh right, that did just open up,” Pence comments off-handedly.

“-and we were sitting next to each other when Demyx came over, Demyx is Axel’s best friend, and not so soon after _Axel_ followed, and we all talked, like Roxas was actually _talking_ to Axel, and they were exchanging these really cute smiles-”

“We were not!” I protest, but Olette continues her monologue, treating my voice as a whisper to the wind.

“-and he ordered the same thing as Axel and we all ate together, joking around and other stuff, but when we left!” Olette gives a great pause with a deep intake of breath that adds to the dramatic effect. I think to myself she just needs to learn how to properly insert breathing into her run-on sentences.

“When we left, we found out that Axel and Roxy live in the same direction, so they walked home together! Can you believe it?!” Olette squeals until I remind her we _are_ in the library.

“So what happened while you guys were walking home, buttmunch?” Hayner asks, curious.

I take turns looking them all straight in the eye. Hayner gives me a hurry up motion and I sigh and answer flatly, “Nothing.”

They all have their mouths hanging open, staring at me incredulously. “You’re…kidding right?” Pence says confused.

“No, he’s bullshitting,” Hayner replies. He glares at me. “Tell us what really happened.”

“I already said nothing happened,” I repeat.

“I don’t understand. _Nothing_ could not have happened,” Olette swoons. “You guys were hitting it off so well in the waffle house. You’re telling me that on the whole way back home, absolutely _nothing_ happened? Not even small talk?”

“Yes. Now drop it.”

“Hey buttmunch, just tell us what happened already,” Hayner says with narrowed eyes.

“I already said-”

“And I call bullshit! Roxas, we’re your friends! You can tell us. It’s not like we’re going to laugh at you.”

I don’t know why, but that’s my tipping point at the moment. “I already told you nothing happened, so lay off me!” I yell.

“Roxas…what’s wrong?” Pence asks, concerned now.

“Yeah, you’re starting to worry me…” Olette says softly.

“Is it happening again?” Hayner asks point-blank.

“Back off it,” I warn, lowly.

“Roxas, this is serious. You can’t keep doing this to yourself,” he chastises. I can feel the warmness in his voice, but I don’t want it right now. I can’t deal with it right now.

“ _Just leave me alone!_ ”

We hear a loud and long ‘ssh!’ come from the front of the library and assume it’s the librarian. I roughly grab my bag and get up to leave.

“Roxas, wait-!” but I’m already walking out of the area that leads to the ancient Mesopotamian culture shelves and make my way out through the back entrance of the library. It feels weird being in the empty halls. Class had already commenced and here I am, cutting (but, once again, can you really cut a free period?). If Ms. Coleman knew, she’d be so disappointed in me. She thinks I’m a good student, and the goody two-shoes in me just doesn’t want to let her down.

To get away from my thoughts, from my friends, from school, from _everything_ , I head towards the gym and enter into the locker room. It has a few stragglers, but they basically ignore me, as I’m used to. I wait for them to leave, and quietly follow behind them to slip to the bleachers. Obviously I’m not going to sit on them, but under them, which is a blind spot from almost every angle. I’m small enough to easily fit through the small opening before the boards. They are slits that cover the back, like half opened venetian blinds, so there’s plenty of sun seeping in on this warm day in Twighlight Town.

I lower myself to the uneven grass (since the groundkeepers never get to this part of the field) and lean against a metal beam. I take deep breaths, as recommended by my “counselor” when I get like this, and wait for the attack to pass. Once I finally calm down enough to think, the guilt comes rushing in.

I was absolutely lying when I said nothing happened when Axel walked me home.

And he didn’t _walk_ me home, we just walked home _together_ , since we do, in fact, live in the same direction. But it wasn’t for very long. We turned once we got to the intersection. People call it the ‘commoner’s turn’, which is ridiculous. The financial standing of those who live on the left and right turns of the intersection has been greatly exaggerated. The ones to the left (where I live) are thought to be rich beyond compare (which we are not, we’re just the better side of middle class) and to the right (where I found out Axel lives) is thought to be poor (which THEY ARE NOT). It’s just that their houses were around a lot longer than the houses on Belladom (the main street on my side), so they look run-down and old fashioned and well…quite meager. But I went exploring once when I was a kid, and I played with friends over there. Their grandma invited me in for snacks, and once inside, it looked like a regular old house. It actually looked much like my house, before my dad got a promotion and remodeled it. Now it looks modern and fancy. I liked our old house.

But I’m getting off track here. Knickson (the main street on Axel’s side) is the one with most of the reverse gilded houses. The other streets off Knickson are regular homes, but people only see the main streets, because it’s quite intimidating to enter into either neighborhood.

I wanted to ask Axel where he lived specifically, but never got the chance. Ah. Right. That day. The whole reason why I’m out here right now, hiding away under the bleachers, skipping class.

I take out my notebook and start to scribble furiously. While the words flow from my brain through my pencil, all I can picture in my head is a reel of the evening’s event playing over and over and over again.

* * *

“Well, this is my turn,” Axel had said, as we abruptly stopped at the intersection on our way home from the waffle house. The walk to it had been filled with silence, but a comfortable one. I was glad that for once, someone wasn’t forcing me to hold a conversation. And honestly, I had enjoyed his company more than anything.

I could tell he was leaning towards the right side, and my eyes widened. “You live on Knickson?” I asked shocked.

Axel stares at me, quite shocked too. “Not on Knickson, but McDal.” That was still to the right. Still “Knickson”. How long had Axel lived just around the corner from me? Literally?!

“Do you live in the area?” he asked me.

“Belladom itself,” I replied, pointing to the left. Wait. Have I been having a conversation with Axel, and _not_ choking on my own spit? Even once? Huh. Maybe I was finally making progress!

“So there’s a rich boy under the mysterious demeanor,” Axel so clearly joked, but no one let me in on it, because I proceeded to spaz out.

“No, no, no, no! I’m not rich! Boy! I mean, I am a boy, but not rich, my father’s the one, I mean, he’s not _rich_ per say, but just, promotion, upgraded house-” _and_ commence my choking fit. Three minutes. I lasted all of three minutes.

“Whoa there, buddy, I was just joking. I know the history of Belladom,” he chuckled, placing his hand on my shoulder to steady me. But all it did was unbalance my heart, because it was running into overdrive. Now Axel thought I couldn’t take a simple joke! Things couldn’t get much worse…

Until they did.

“Is that you Roxy?”

Until they did…

**Author's Note:**

> This is an old work of mine that I'm reworking just a tad. If you're on ff you might have seen it, but it's better to read the updated version here. Thanks for the support!  
> The Chriss-Meister


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